61.
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.62.
Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?63.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.64.
If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.65.
Take my advice — I’m not using it.66.
Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is “Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?”67.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.68.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.69.
There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.70.
I’m good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I’m putting off until later.71.
For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.72.
I would give my dad what he really wants on Father’s Day, but I can’t afford to move out yet.73.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.74.
I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.75.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.76.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?77.
My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?78.
She wanted a puppy. But I didn’t want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.79.
Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.80.
Is google a woman? Because it won’t let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.81.
Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.82.
Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.83.
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.84.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.85.
Don’t you love nature, despite what it did to you?86.
I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.87.
Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.88.
Why is the day that you do laundry, cook, clean, iron and so on, called a day off?89.
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?90.
I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat.
Bangla New Best Funny Cartoon Jokes 